I found this letter...

May 2, 2007

Current mood:contemplative

It's a letter I think about a lot because it's so bizarre. It was written to me in 1993, when I was in the "hospital." Here, just read it, you'll understand. I'll try to copy it exactly.

Aug, 31, 93

I am writing this to you because I can't think of anybody else to write to. I got your letter and it was confusing. This morning I was target shooting with a friend and all of a sudden without saying anything put her gun to her head and blew her brains out. (He switches to red ink here for no discernible reason) I am scared. the blood just trickled in streams down her neck. I can't get the image out of my head, it scares me. please don't tell anyone about this. She was locked up and ran away and went home and ran away again and was making a living selling guns. the dude who was with us destroyed her body, I can't talk about that. I have been trying to call but you were never there. I feel like I have to tell someone this and I think I can trust you. I hope that you don't mind hearing about this. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I am sorry if I am not making sense I am upset, I think. I stopped smoking but I think I am going to start again. I am also drunk right now. I am a fucking idiot, I can't think, sorry. Forbush is full of assholes and queers. You are not messed up like everyone else, but seem normal to me. If you do go to a residential or long term I wish luck, you can write to me if you ever need to talk to somebody. O.K. well I'll either write or call you soon but right now I'm going to crash for a day or two because I'm tired.

Truely Pychotic (sic)
John

The thing is I don't recall if I ever spoke to him again. He was a real sweet dude, very nice and he also seemed "normal." I don't remember his last name and it's been well over a decade so I don't think it matters if I post this. I read this letter over and over again trying to figure out if he was telling the truth cause I couldn't see him making this up. It still gives me chills. Maybe he was crazier than I thought or it was a dream, a hallucination.

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  Beau Brendt

  Wow.  I never heard about this one, obviously for good reasons.  Things always seem to come back at one point or another. It appears to me that though the past is really never the past, nor the future just the future.  Instead of the linear timeline so many people consider to be the "irrefutable truth", it seems as though time is a Mobius strip or web of sorts.  All things past, present and future are continually happening at one time.  One might even theorize that time isn't moving at all and that everything is merely variations of one moment, one point, one instance.  But who am I to propose such things when I myself can not get over the past?
  

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  4 years ago