Hate.

March 12, 2006

God dammit I've been so angry lately. I hate school, I hate my job, I hate the weather, I hate being fatter than I've ever been before. Damn my family and their fat genes. I keep trying not to hate myself but that's the hardest part of all. I hate drug addicts and psychotics, and schizophrenics (no offense). I hate losing things. I lost my fucking work keys and I really hope some psychoticschizophrenicdrugaddict didn't pick them up. I hate wind and sun and rain and warmth and cold. 

And having a good time in between the hate is shitty. Frida is only helping a little. She promised to help give me some of my creativity back but I ain't seen it. Frank is helping a little, I guess. Survive Style 5+ helped. That movie is gorgeous...

Feeling sick all the time isn't helping either. Today is the first day in a few weeks that I haven't felt sick. 

I like what Denis said at dinner last night. About how we're all depressed but we don't have to talk about it all the time. Cause who wants to hear that shit? My growing popularity is quite pleasant. Let's keep it up.

Comments

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  The Emperor Canigula
  

  Jen, keep your head up. We all hate this place. You just gotta find a way to relieve your stress at work. I trip a patient daily. You gotta wait until they're right in front of you and be quick about it. They never see it coming because they never expect it because they really think we're there to be verbally abused by them, I mean help them. And when I'm looking down at them looking up at me it really helps me to keep things in perspective.

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  5 years ago
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  CHRI§TER
  

  Or we can just kill ourselves.  Let's not pretend we're not going to.

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  5 years ago
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  Denis
  

  Not that we don't have to talk about it, but, sometimes, we shouldn't forget that most of the people we know feel the same way, so why bring them down. Most of the time, I'd rather suffer silently, like now. There's nothing anyone can do about what I'm going through, and the only reason to bring it up would be to release the tension in my chest. Or I could stay quiet, let it build to a boiling point, and have it come out in the form of puke, or blood out of my eyes. The blood would shoot really far because of the pressure. Neat.
  
  
  And I love hanging out with you!

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  5 years ago