iTunes Essentials: J-L

I think I left off with JaRule and then got distracted from the fact that I wanted to do a music blog and pretend to be Chuck Klosterman with some stupid thing "about" Susan Boyle.  So it was peripherally related to music but really just total b.s.  Soon I will figure out my gimmick and you will be hooked.

If you haven't figured it out yet or even noticed that it exists, iTunes Essentials has all these artists listed and then breaks down their singles (depending on the length and breadth of their career) by Basics, Next Steps and Deep Cuts.  They seem to ranked by some sort of popularity system. 

So, about a million years later, I realize that Groove Armada are responsible for "I See You Baby."  Not a J, but G is sorta like a J.  "Shakin' that ass, shakin' that ass..."

I am completely shocked and awed to find that "I Just Wanna Love U" by Jay-Z is in 5th place on his Essentials.  That is such a great song.  I can almost forgive the fact that "D.O.A." is in 4th place. Have you ever even heard of that song?  "I Just Wanna Love U" is also a great karaoke song.  Try it if you don't believe me.

Hmm.  Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation."  What do we think of this song?  We think of mediocre tv shows, that's what we think.  What exactly is the history of the song "Cherry Bomb?"  I'm off to find out.  I'm most familiar with the Bratmobile version.  Ugh, of course it was in "Jennifer's Body."  Diablo Cody has to be slightly retarded.

Oh, damn, remember that Jewel song about making breakfast?  That was a good one...

"Come and talk to me, I really want to meet you.  Can I talk to you?" Jodeci hearts you.

JOE?  There's just some dude named JOE?  And he's Essential?  Sad.  And he's terrible.

Can we talk about Billy Joel for a moment?  Goodnight Saigon makes me cry like a Viet Nam vet everytime.  Watch that video, the one where he has the vets singing along.  OMG.  Then, if you can find it, watch Will Ferrell do it on SNL.

Benny and the Jets, Rocket Man and I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues: All the Elton John you'll ever need.  Doubt that.  "Doubt that," meaning something like "I dare you to doubt this," does not appear in the Urban Dictionary.  That needs to be rectified.

Who knew Norah Jones was Ravi Shankar's daughter?  No, really, who knew that?  iTunes says she is but I still don't think i believe it.  that's absurd.

Kelis.  Kelis was just awarded something like $51,000 A MONTH from Nas in alimony.  Who here thinks Nas can pay this for more than 10 months?  Not me.  "Aww Shit!"

R. Kelly Productions?  Whas that?  And also what ever happened to my copy of "Bump Bump Bump" by B2K? 

What does B2K have to do with R. Kelly? Or what does R. Kelly have to do with P. Diddy?  Do you think R. Kelly is really just what he seems or actually a genius who is tricking everyone?

    
And is anyone else afraid that Alicia Keys will cutchu?

Who doesn't like "Mr. Brightside?"  That's a good damn song.  Or a damn good song.  But really, it is.

The Kills.  I hadn't heard of the Kills until recently because of my obsession with Noel Fielding.  But nevermind that.  "Sour Cherry" is a really good song.  I was surprised they had an "Essentials."

Ugh.  I don't get Kings of Leon nor do I like them.  I would like them to be explained to me.  Please, if you know how, explain the attraction of Kings of Leon to me.  They're like CCR but crap.  Yeah, sure, they're from Tennessee.

How Could They!!!???  They put "Come Dancing" by the Kinks at the number one spot!  WTF?  Oh, it's the Kinks 70's-90's.  Why?  No one wants to hear this shit.

Korn... is pathetic.  Sorry.  They are.

Ladytron = Yeah, we don't really care that much.

Oh thank Jesus Avril Lavigne does not have Deep Cuts.

Huey Lewis.  I used him to describe my feelings about my current job recently.  "I want a new drug" is all you really need to know.  Other than Power of Love and Back In Time.

Aw.  Lil Wayne.  Weezy.  How could you not love him?  I drank a bottle of prescription cough syrup once.  Then I went to bed for a while.  No homo.

Yeah, Lisa Loeb.  I don't care about yer baby or anything else about you.  But Tails is an awesome record.  Thank you. 

Loggins & Messina: Again, see Yacht Rock
 
Ack, I've entered the multitude of bands beginning with "Los."  Why does that get counted?  There's not a bunch of bands that start with "The" under the "T"s.  None.  Except for The The.

Do you remember when Lyle Lovett married Julia Roberts.  Me too.  I was in the parking lot of the shopping center in North East, the one where there was an Ames and an Acme and a drugstore and a pizza place.  Sweet.

Ludacris.  I don't know what it is about him but I just heart him sooo much.  Ya dig?

Luna.  Wow.  I remember Luna.  But not any of the songs in iTunes.  But that's definitely Luna.

iTunes Essentials: A-J

Going through iTunes Essentials to see if I'm missing some necessary music cos I like to do that periodically.  So far, no, I don't seem to be missing anything important.  Bush?  I don't remember any of this.  I know I had Sixteen Stone, I think...

Who are these people that they have "Essentials?"  I definitely remember knowing some Catherine Wheel, "Ferment" (1992) specifically.  Oh, right, they kinda suck. And the Charlatans, known as the Charlatans UK over here, also suck.  Is that specific enough?

Chevelle?  Who?

And should I bother learning about Alex Chilton or just stick with the Replacements song "Alex Chilton?"  I think I have my answer.

Ew, Shawn Colvin.  I think I just threw up a little in my own mouth. 

Yeah, I don't know Crystal Method.  The Cult on the other hand I've always liked and Cypress Hill has always made me feel a little uncomfortable because of a friend I had in high school.  One of the main things that sticks out in my memory about her is that when it was hot outside she liked to drive her dad's car with the a/c on high and the windows down.

Let's see if I know any Dandy Warhols's songs: nope.

Oh, look, the Descendents.  Never really liked them.  There was one song I really liked but I can never remember what it was or from which album.  It wasn't Suburban Home or Clean Sheets.  Thank you iTunes, it was something from "I Don't Want to Grow Up" but I'm still not sure which song.  Guess I didn't like it all that much.  Maybe it was "Good Good Things."

No matter.  There is one Celine Dion song I liked once.  I was drunk at a drag show in New Orleans and it was definitely a dance remix...  Ima have to give that one up.  No idea.

I still don't get why we have to call The Beat "The English Beat," whoever the regular "Beat" was, they don't have an iTunes Essentials.

Ah, Faces.  We're (meaning me) back to them.  I really like Faces, I do.  I just don't like listening to them.

And does anyone actually like the Flaming Lips or do you just say you do?  They're just as bad as Phish if you ask me.

Bored.  Only in the G's.  But it stinks over here where I'm sitting.  What song did Ginuwine do?  Oh, right.  Pony.  Gross.

Really?  GOLDFRAPP?  C'mon!

Hall & Oates.  If you still haven't seen it: Yacht Rock.   

You know what?  I don't think I ever really got the whole Manchester (Madchester) music scene.  What I'm trying to say is that I don't like the Happy Mondays. But I do like some Stone Roses, James, Inspiral Carpets songs for what that's worth which is not much.

Is "Galileo" better than "Closer to Fine?"  Did I just ask that?  And is it still too soon to listen to INXS?  "Never Tear Us Apart?"  How did Ja Rule ever... ?

To be continued...