02 June 2010

Get Yer Creep On.

No intro.  Just go.  You're wasting time.    
28 movies in alphabetical order:

28 Days Later (Danny Boyle): Hannah: Are you trying to kill me?
Selena: No, sweetheart. I'm making you not care. Okay?

Alien (Ridley Scott):  No, not the chest bursting alien, it's Ian Holm I'm worried about cos "Ash is a god damned robot."

Blue Velvet (David Lynch): "Heineken?  Fuck that shit!  Pabst Blue Ribbon!"  Dean Stockwell's eye movements when interacting with Dennis Hopper are amazing.  Dennis Hopper is brilliant: "I'll send you a love letter. STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART, FUCKER. You know what a love letter is?! It's a bullet from a fucking gun, FUCKER!"  Oh, the insanity!  What freaks me out about it is that it feels like something that could happen to me.  This movie might be why I don't like to leave my house.  Dennis Hopper will be missed.

City of the Living Dead (Lucio Fulci): The weird ass dust bowl scene near the beginning when the weird dude, Bob, goes into that house and then there's a blow-up doll and the look he gives the blow-up makes me want to die.  And then there's an earthworm baby and everything's okay again.

Creepshow (George A. Romero): There are so many good parts in this movie but the only truly creepy part is "They're Creeping Up on You."  I'm nearly that neurotic about bugs.  That's what scares me.  

Cutting Moments (Douglas Buck): Forget Joey's brown, what the fuck did you just do to your lips?!?!  Even after all these years I still have to watch this through my fingers.

The Descent (Neil Marshall):  Near the end, there's this moment when Sarah, the main character, falls into a pool of blood but she doesn't come out the same or sane.  Then things get awesome.  Sorry, Juno.

Event Horizon (Paul W.S. Anderson): Sam Neill saying, "Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see," always makes me want to yell "fuck you" at this movie.  Somehow Laurence Fishburne calmly asking, "What are you talking about?" doesn't make it better.  Overall, not a very original movie but it still gives me chills.

The Exorcist (William Friedkin):  Regan at the doctor getting the damn spinal tap.  For the sound effects.

The Eye (Pang Brothers): Seriously, why are you sitting in her chair?

The Haunting (Robert Wise): Atmosphere + naivete + neuroticism = terror.

Haute (High) Tension (Alexandre Aja): France is terrified of  lesbians, clearly they are all murderers (see also: Martyrs).  Forget the fact that the twist makes absolutely no sense, I love it when dad loses his head. 

Jaws (Steven Spielberg): The first shark attack, duh.  "Come on into the water!"   

Ju-on (Movie, 2002) (Takashi Shimizu): Please, not on the stairs.  Not with those noises.  Hearing her hit the floor.  I think I just pooed my pants a little bit.

Kairo (Kiyoshi Kurosawa): C'mon, buddy, you know she's coming over that couch.  But I wish she wouldn't.

Los Sin Nombre (The Nameless) (Jaume Balagueró): It's the ending.  It's all about the ending.  Wow, are you kiddng me?  Wow.  That's truly... that's just wrong. 

Martyrs (Pascal Laugier): This movie was so brutal and kept getting worse until the switch.  If you've seen it you know what I'm talking about.  Up until that point it keeps going farther and farther into "oh my god what are you doing" territory, so much so that this is one of the few movies that I thought I was going to have to turn off because I just couldn't take it anymore.  But then the switch.  It saves your sanity but you were also hoping to find out how much more you could take.  God damn it, why didn't you leave that house days ago?
 
Mulholland Dr. (David Lynch): What is that thing behind the dumpster outside Winkie's?  Seriously.  And what's wrong with that cowboy?

Pan's Labyrinth (Guillermo del Toro): Getting beat in the face with a bottle.  It lasts for less than 10 seconds but it's 10 seconds I'll never forget. 

Paranormal Activity (Oren Peli): This movie as a whole gets an "eh" rating but the scene where the main female character just stands next to the bed for 3 HOURS seriously gives me the creeps.

REC (Jaume Balagueró, Paco Plaza): Because of the end.  In that apartment.  In the dark.  And the screaming.  And THAT THING that's going to end you.  In the dark.

Ringu (Hideo Nakata): Just when you thought you were safe... Wait, did I forget to turn the TV off?  Shit.  Well, I'll just watch and see what happens.

A Tale of Two Sisters (Ji-woon Kim): The sets are so beautiful.  The sisters are so adorable.  But dad's acting weird and step-mom's such a bitch!  And then you find out what the deal is and you clap and yell, "Again! Again!" like a little kid.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper):  The guy is twitching on the floor and I know what's coming and then, wham!  He slams the door.  Every time.

The Thing (John Carpenter): Creepiest part for me is when the "dog" gets put in with the other dogs and everything just goes to shit.  Those poor dogs.

Twin Peaks Fire Walk with Me (David Lynch): So much creep in this film, like when Phillip (David Bowie) comes into the office acting all crazy.  The weird "turkey in the corn" scene, "gobble, gobble."  Laura's croupy crying when she sees Leland come out of the house, the engine revving, and the brutal murder.

Uninvited (Soo-youn Lee): That's just... Jesus... I'm so sorry.  I'm just going to go over here and kill myself for you.  Thanks. 

Zombi 2 (Zombie) (Lucio Fulci): "Come in Guadeloupe!"  The origin of my Facebook address: http://www.facebook.com/comeinguadeloupe btw (what?).  And, yes, it's the eyeball scene.  Titled "Ocular Terror" in the 25th Anniversary edition of the DVD. 

Honorable Mentions (because I was a child when I saw these movies):

The opening scene of Nightmare on Elm Street II on the school bus.  Nothing creepy about it today, but when I was 8 and riding the bus every day I was convinced that this was going to happen.

The tea scene in 1990's made-for-tv miniseries of Stephen King's It.  The scene itself isn't very scary but knowing what happened in the book makes it scarier.



The part in Cujo when the kid can't get his seat belt off and the dog is trying to get into the piece of shit car and everyone's screaming and the car won't start and my mom always had shit cars too, kid.  And dogs were always trying to kill me and one time I had to climb on top of a Pontiac Fiero because a big dog was chasing me.

Honorable Mentions (other):

Se7en (David Fincher): Sloth.

Jacob's Ladder (Adrian Lyne): Subway? Bathtub? The story's kinda goofy but there are some crazy horrifying scenes in this movie.   

Silence of the Lambs (Jonathan Demme): Searching in the dark.

Night of the Hunter (Charles Laughton): This is a gorgeous film start to finish.  Stylized brutality.  Particularly creepy if you grew up going to church.

Hellraiser (Clive Barker): Frank Cotton

Rebecca (Alfred Hitchcock): The tension in this movie keeps you on edge the whole time but the scene with the new Mrs. DeWinter and crazy-ass Mrs. Danvers in the west wing will make you cringe.  "I keep her underwear on this side."

4 comments:

  1. See also: http://lastchanceillustration.blogspot.com/2010/05/spooky-scary.html

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  2. The scene in Night of the Hunter with the car under the water is incredible!

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  3. "croupy crying" is the best description ever

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  4. I would like to think I'm wholly responsible for damaging our group of friends by introducing Cutting Moments.

    and also, you should get out of her chair.

    ReplyDelete