Sooo...What's up everybody?

More bad news from the land of "why the fuck am I still here?" aka Pissburgh.  I've had it in for this place since forever and unfortunately it knows how to fight back.  I guess.  I don't know.  It's probably all me secretly sabotaging myself.  It just feels like... I just don't belong here.  What's that song where the last line is "...I don't belong here..."?  Wait, is that "Creep" by Radiohead.  It's like the theme song of my life.  Always. 

The news is that I did NOT get the job I wrote about a couple/few weeks ago.  Who's surprised?  Raise your hands.  I'm not.  Par for the course.  I'm shit at interviews and there seems to be something wrong with me in general that puts people off.  I guess it's my "go get 'em" attitude.  Or because "Ima creep, Ima weirdo." 

The whole situation is ironic (In a non-ironic way?  That's the only cool irony.  Duh.) because for a while I was like "I'm gonna get this job, I'm gonna get this job!" and then I was like "Oh my god, what am I gonna do if I get this job?  It's gonna suck!"  And since it's taken so long to hear either way I've made the following contingency plans:

1. Get the job: Get a new apartment in Pissburgh.
2. Don't get the job: Move back east (and still get a new apartment).

Now I have the answer and it turns out to be the harder of the two and so I'm FUCKING UPSET that nothing can EVER be even REMOTELY EASY.

Seriously, all I want is a fucking full-time job and it really doesn't fucking matter what the fuck it is because shit is not that fucking important in the first place.  Life isn't about what fucking job you have so you shouldn't have to jump through fucking hoops and act like you really give a fuck about a fucking admin job because it's FUCKING BULLSHIT!  It's not that deep.  (So why does it hurt so much?) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxpblnsJEWM