"May you receive the world a little less than usual today."

So I have never really figured out how to build an "internet personality," a real-life one is hard enough.  I have warring factions in my psyche that simultaneously want and reject "followers."  This is actually exactly the same way my real life goes.  I want to have friends but at the same time I can't stand the thought of having to take someone else's feelings into consideration.  And I can't stand lying to "protect someone's feelings."  Fuck 'em.  Actually having real-life "followers" is EXACTLY what I want, just people who idolize me and don't care how I treat them in return.

God.  Listen to me.  I'm trying to find inspiration to be a... person, and I start off by ranting nihilistically.  Next I'll start sharing my thoughts on eugenics.

I want to write.  There, I said it.  Do I want to be a writer?  I haven't gotten that far.  I used to write, pages and pages, I have a tub full of old journals:



And I'm sure they all run a little like this post here.  I don't know, I can't bring myself to ever look at them, other than the pictures.  I used to draw as well as write, it seems.  Then somewhere along the line I lost interest in both.  In most things really.  And I have my theories about why but they are mine and I can not share them with you at this time.  I have people's feelings to take into consideration. 

I initially wanted to blog about music, but then realized that everyone blogs about music, and most of them do it better than I ever could.  So instead I will blog about what I know: me.

Let's see what happens.  If you read this, please choose to follow it, and then tell others to do the same.  This will enable you to find out who has a secret crush on you.  Who knows, it may even be me!