casual stalking = friendship

Saturday/Sunday, May 22/23

Computer crapped out today.  Strangely slept until about 12:40pm, then spent from 2pm to 7pm while Allen was at gaming trying to restore the damn thing after having a small fit wondering why the 3-year warranty I paid $170 for 2 years ago wasn't showing up at the Apple website.

Apparently erasing the hard drive can sometimes literally mean erasing it from existence, which is what I somehow ended up doing.  When I went back to reinstall the software there was nothing to install it on.

Allen had made us an appt. with the god damned geniuses at the bar for 12:30pm Sunday before I had even gotten out of bed so that was good.  They really owe us a new computer since the thing has been a piece of shit since day one.  But here's the thing about that:the Apple store in PGH is in this super posh neighborhood where Allen and I always feel out of place, like they can smell that we weren't born rich. 

So I have this poor person's guilt of "my computer doesn't work, must be something I did wrong," not rich person indignation of "your product is faulty, you owe me."  Never that.  I'm already embarrassed about the fact that we share a desktop computer and it's 2010.  And that said desktop computer is our only access to the internet from our home.  We don't have fancy phones (coming December 2010) or iPod Touches or even wireless internet service.  Ah, poordom.  Embarrassed, like trying to buy an iPad with cash money.

Shadyside, despite the deceptive name, is actually a haven of gay men and rich, skinny blonde white women.  A gross shopping street mainly, that runs for ~ 4 or 5 blocks max.  I kind of equate it to Walnut Street in Philly from Broad to ~ 20th, but more uncomfortable in its snobbitude.

Allen was good enough to call Apple (phone phobia!) and settle the "what happened to my warranty for your shit product" debacle.  Somehow it was never registered back in June 2008.  Why? is the question.  The answer is possibly because Apple is made out of cocks and they make their crap purposely to last 2-3 years max.  So done with them.

And so mad that I am actually writing, by hand (with a fake fountain pen in a Moleskine journal), this entry which will have to wait to be transcribed later into my trusty Dell work computer.

It's 12:30am, Sunday.  And too quiet.  Let me grab my iPod Nano and iPod ear buds to listen to some iTunes stored music.  If I do somehow cry myself into a new iMac tomorrow I wonder if my MS Office disks will work twice.  They're University owned, technically.

Eww, if the new iMac's CD/DVD drive actually works maybe I can finally install Windows on it!

My god, the volatile mix of tearful at the drop of a hat me and scarily pissed off for no reason Allen at the genius bar is freaking me out.  I thought he was going to snap the neck of the Census guy the other week.  This poor crippled bastard with his sad Census badge came by cos the gov't is stupid and incompetent, surprise! and the census form I filled out and returned, one of two that we received for the same (sort of) address was of course invalid for some reason.  Maybe cos I filled out 5xx8 Pocusset St. 1 instead of 5xx8 Pocusset St. 2?  There is only one 5xx8 Pocusset St, downstairs is 5xx6 Pocusset.  Either way there will most likely be two extra white people in Squirrel Hill this census with the same names as two other white people in Squirrel Hill.

What was I saying?  Anyway, he was gonna blow up on the poor guy because of 5 minutes.  Not that our local Tiny Tim census man gave a shit about the address discrepancy.  Not his job, he may have literally said that to me if I remember correctly.  So I went downstairs and sent Allen back up and gave the man the info he needed.  Of course I think Allen's behavior problems are my fault.  The increasing aggressiveness towards strangers is directly related to my increasing avoidance of everyone.  The more I pull away the more persistent he becomes. 

OMG.  Without a place to inappropriately stalk people/post things I have no gauge for when enough is enough. Online I know when I've crossed the line of appropriate for a lady of my class and intelligence and when it's time to go to bed.  (HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!)  I feel desperate without the internet, like I'm 21 again.  When apparently I never wore eye makeup.  My eyes look freaky in these photos that I once gave my mother a number of years ago.  Luckily, I've realized for the millionth time that my forehead is not appropriate for showing off.  Fringe is a necessary evil, whether the hair is long or short, and it should be short cos I look fatter with long hair.

Maybe this is my way of approaching the promised "my daddy died" post.

I wrote a few lines a day and a half after he died while on an Amtrak train from PGH to Philly to get to Cecil County (it's only $50 one way but it takes FOREVER!).  Those few lines don't really reveal anything, though.  I have never been so angry at a funeral, I think I even walked out and slammed the door at one point.  (No tissues? Seriously?)  (My father's dead and I can't have coffee?)  (Why are you singing this stupid hymn?  It's so offensive!)  I went alone thinking Allen did not need to be subjected to whatever might happen but also so I could spend an extra day or two with my family.  Unsurprisingly, I was not the only one to think that I had to get to that house because I knew there was cash $ in there.   "You're going to get some money," Chris told me that first night I was there when we were out on the porch.

Check this bullshit: He may have paid for his brother's retarded children (literally) to have xmas before his own kids... Asshole.

Not going to cry...

There's so much I have to say about that week but it will take more space than I want to use right now.  It was filled with some of the craziest shit ever so get prepared.  I should be going back this weekend to see some of my family and I've never looked forward to it more.  Wonder if the sexually inappropriate "adopted kid" will be home from Seminary?  It's so crazy there!!!

The computer's hard drive was shot, and there was something wrong where it was getting too much power and so part of the inside is scorched or something so our computer is basically getting all new insides and should be ready to come home tomorrow.  It's not a new new computer, but it's good enough.  By the way, it turned out that I was being the aggressive one at the Genius Bar.  Yeah, well, I was angry.