Housewife Auditions

Teen Sex/Pregnancy is totally natural. Srsly. Think about it. Humans were made to reproduce soon after puberty and they were meant to be dead around 40. We have not evolved so much physically as we have in other ways. This explains a lot of issues, obesity, teen pregnancy, even mid-life crises. Because we aren't supposed to be that old! 
Our bodies go into survival mode because of our "diet mentality" and therefore hold onto fat as a defense mechanism, awaiting the next (mostly imaginary) famine. 


So. Those are some notes I found here that I apparently wrote a few days ago. I don't remember where I was going with either thought. Okay. That's a lie, I just don't feel like going on with them.

It's one of those days where I want to cry about everything and feel sorry for myself. Yeah, I have those days a lot. I think I need a non-traditional job. I think I want to be an organic farmer. Last week I wanted to be a book editor but NOT in New York cos I don't think you can afford to live there even if you have that job.

I need a career! I can't keep living like this! I wanted to be a nurse the week before but now it just seems like too much work to get there and then once you're there the hours are shitty. And I already owe like $90,000 in student loans. That is NOT an exaggeration. I end up owing $90,000 for what? So I can temp for the rest of my life? I know that I am never going to make a lot of money, probably never own a house, always be sad...

Gah. and meh. I don't want to be on TV but I might like working in TV. I want to write but I don't like to write on demand.

(One of the big HR people is in the office next door to me right now and I'm having a hard time restraining myself. I want to do terrible things to him as a symbol of my anger and frustration.)

I wish the economy and civilization would collapse. Maybe then I'd have a chance to be something/somebody. I don't know what that even means. I think I actually mean that I wish the economy and civilization would collapse so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.

My head is so screwed up with weird expectations of what's supposed to be. I wish I was a stupid person, I don't think these things would bother me as much if I were.

Honestly, what I want is a return to women being housewives. I don't care if it's unpopular. I want to be a housewife and to have a husband who can take care of me and provide for me and ignore me all at the same time. And not like "Desperate" or "Real," but like 1950s tv show. I might even tolerate having a child if I could get back to that way of life.