Back to the Blog: Attempt Two

Sometimes I think something's wrong with me, like "my heart feels funny", or "why am I feeling sad and hateful and paranoid", or "why am I seeing things that aren't there?" and then I realize, oh, you've been drinking Monster energy drink, you have PMS, you're fucking tired. 

All of that is happening right now. Ack!

But I'm also S-O-B-E-R so coming up with something to write is extry hard. So let's just do what I do best and stream-of-consciousness this bitch.

Just now I did an image search for "extry" and came across a photo of a banana that had monkeys drawn on it. I don't know. So I had to pause to put it on the tumblr. And then I was looking at my dash and thought, one can only stand so much porn some days. Today is such a day. It's like, yeah, yeah, keep licking that clit. Whatever. 

Forgive my vulgarity. Stream-of-consciousness, however. 

Pulled out an old book, Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, then I remembered "Morning Pages" and got depressed. I'm not a morning person. And she never defines how big the pages should be, just that you should write three of them. Are we talking 8.5 x 11 or 5 x 7? 3 x 5? Right now I'm rockin the 8.5 x 11 size notebook soooo that's a lot of writing. Maybe I should use crayons? 

And what's the deal with Facebook? (Did you like my Seinfeld?) What is this "Top Story" bullshit? That is all kinds of annoying. 

Ohmygod! Does anyone remember that tooth fairy horror movie? What was it called? The one where the big dramatic line is "I see you, bitch!" 

Are you fucking kidding me?! In the theater we saw this! It was so terrible we snuck into a showing of Gangs of New York to cleanse our palates. 

But I digress... A doy.